Posts Tagged ‘space’

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The alien space-octopus will eat your ass: “Life”

March 27, 2017

Life arrives just in time to offer itself up as a corrective to the critically-adored The Arrival—a movie everyone went gaga over, despite its ludicrous premise. I mean, let’s be realistic here: if/when tentacle aliens encounter humanity they’re not going to be all “Ooo…let’s all be friends and here’s the future history of your unborn daughter, because parenthood is the real awesome mystery!” Nope. They’re pretty much going to be, “RAWR! IMMA EAT YOU!” Life understands that.

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Slipping the surly bonds. And then…”Gravity”

October 5, 2013

gravity

It’s a bit ironic that now, a few months after the close of a summer season chock-a-block with bloated, over-budgeted, lumbering blockbuster offerings, the most teeth-grindingly thrilling and suspenseful film of the year would feature action sequences that don’t involve space battles, cities being destroyed, or derailed steam locomotives, but rather things like grabbing things. And breathing. Ironic, but not surprising. It’s no secret that Hollywood has long felt that budget=profit. Quality seldom factors in. With his latest film, Gravity, Alfonso Cuaron brings craftsmanship back to the screen, and in the process creates an edge-of-your-seat thriller that does nothing less than rewrite the language of cinema.
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Our Star Blazers…”Space Battleship Yamato”

January 8, 2011

Yeah, that’s how I knew this story. Every Sunday morning along with Battle of the Planets, there was Star Blazers—the Americanized version of Japan’s Space Battleship Yamato. They provided a double shot of mature, serious cartoons that were leaps and bounds more alien and, frankly, higher-quality than the Hanna-Barbera crap being shoveled on Saturday mornings. Even at seven years-old, I appreciated my intelligence not being insulted. Conceptually, it’s not a bad idea, and just iconic enough in geek circles to make it surprising that it hasn’t been made into life-action movie before now. But it’s here now, and I had to see it opening night. I mean, c’mon! It’s about a space battleship blowing shit up. How do you resist that?
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You are not who you are: “Moon”

December 6, 2009

Spoiler alert—especially for you, Ima420r—I am going to give away the big twists in Moon. There’s really no other way to write even a semi-substantial piece about it and if I do the whole thing in invisotext it’ll just look weird. So if you don’t want Moon ruined for you, go out and rent it and then read this review. Actually, you should go out and rent it even if you don’t read the review, because it’s a really good movie. As I’ll explain below. Which you shouldn’t read until you’ve seen Moon.

Okay, so that’s out of the way. Moon is the feature debut of director Duncan Jones, who happens to be the son of David Bowie. Naturally, upon Moon’s release (I’m being generous here…I’ve seen broader distributions in a convent) it led to many interviews asking Jones whether his father’s Ziggy Stardust persona had influenced his movie. This is, of course, completely idiotic. Unless there are some deleted scenes featuring a sexually ambiguous alien teaching Sam Rockwell how to dance, I’m not sure it matters who Jones’s daddy is. Moon is a cool, understated, meditative film about self, identity, and survival. Androgyny totally doesn’t factor in anywhere.
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Dennis Quaid’s career death-spiral continues: “Pandorum”

October 5, 2009

Pandorum-PosterOkay, so what’s on deck here? Pandorum? Aw, dammit…(sigh). All right. Pandorum. Well, here’s something novel about this movie: it’s simultaneously stupid and disappointing. Disappointing because it’s so stupid, and stupid because of the ways it disappoints. Wow, it’s sort of a Mobius strip of badness. That’s something, isn’t it? Well, not really, but I’m doing my best here. Pandorum reminds me a lot of Event Horizon. Like EH, it’s a wholly original sci-fi vision of terror. Not a franchise, or a reboot of a franchise or a bastardization of a franchise, but something totally new. And like Event Horizon, it carries this idea as far as an intriguing set-design before promptly pissing all over it. Thanks screenwriter Travis Milloy and director Christian Alvert. Want to kick my dog while you’re at it?
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