Posts Tagged ‘cars’

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Guilty Pleasures: “Action Jackson”

September 28, 2012

Poor Action Jackson. It’s like the dinosaur that just keeps on scampering through the jungle, blithely ignoring the funnel of ash kicked up by the meteorite that hit yesterday. In other words, it was dead but just didn’t know it yet. By its premiere in February of 1988, we’d already had Lethal Weapon and Above the Law, and the summer would bring us Die Hard—all of which heralded the arrival of lean, wily action heroes who got by more on wit and cleverness than bulk. The era of the muscle-bound, solo action hero was over, and Carl Weathers arrived at the party too late to build his own franchise. Of course, now we can look back and appreciate it for the dumb fun that it was. What’s cool about Action Jackson? Well…
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Guilty Pleasures: “Black Moon Rising”

April 8, 2012

For decades, two questions in particular have vexed moviegoers: 1) Has Tommy Lee Jones always been that craggy? And 2) Has he always been awesome? With Black Moon Rising, a largely-overlooked 1986 throwaway, we get the answers, and they are a resounding yes and yes. Oh sure, there have been missteps, but not here, that’s for damn sure. With Black Moon Rising we get TLJ doing what he does best—being laconic and getting into fights. But we also get car chases, a goofy heist plot, and Robert Vaughn being sinister. This movie is more dumb fun than it has any right to be. When the credits rolled, I replayed it and watched it again.
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Pure Awesomesauce! “Fast Five”

May 8, 2011

Fast Five is like a shot of testosterone directly to the nutsack. It’s really less a movie than a pure, masculinity-delivery vehicle. Seriously. It has fast cars, big guns, some awesome shootouts, a lot of eye-candy, out-of-control collateral damage, and two ‘roided-up ubermenschers duking it out on screen. Truly, if you have a Y-chromosome, there’s no way you’re going to walk out of this movie and not want to immediately bang a hooker and get into a gunfight. Preferably at the same time. If you have any other reaction to this movie, you are obviously gay.

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Wow! That didn’t totally suck! “Faster”

February 28, 2011

So, I guess the planets all lined up right, or maybe the end times are upon us or something, but for once a movie actually exceeded my expectations. That’s rare. Really rare. Like see-a-falling-star/Charlie-Sheen-is-sober-today rare. I sat in the movie theater thinking: What movie am I here to see again? Oh yeah, Faster…ugh! Why am I waiting to see this? Oh yeah, raspberry popcorn.  Then the movie began and by the time I got to the scene where the yoga-practicing hit man is revealed to have been a crippled child, and is now an insane overachiever, something wonderful something amazing happened: I realized the movie didn’t totally suck.  It’s not great by any stretch of the imagination, but for an action flick catering to the Creatine-pounding, steroids-and-tribal-tattoo crowd, it’s a remarkably substantial piece of storytelling.
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