Posts Tagged ‘assassins’

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From the Mists of Time: “Assassin”

April 9, 2013

625282900796“From the Mists of Time” is a new, semi-regular filler feature based upon Sci-Fi Invasion, a cheapie DVD set of 50 films that was an impulse buy as I was killing time until it was a more respectable hour to hit the local bars.  These are all largely-forgotten movies that span the history of cinema. They’re not good—Lord, they’re not—but some of them are entertaining enough to warrant a mini-review…

Installment #1: Assassin (1986): You know, you just can’t go wrong with Robert Conrad. He was the essential ‘60s and ‘70s tough-guy—a gravely-voices, ruggedly handsome leading man for the small-screen, equally comfortable slipping into the Cockpit of an F4U Corsair in Baa Baa Black Sheep as he was into a pair of the tightest pants in existence for The Wild Wild West (you know, before the inevitable scene where he’s stripped to the wait and tied up…man, that show had issues.) Anyway, in this made-for-TV movie he plays a retired CIA operative called back in to hunt a rogue—you guessed it!—assassin. It’s a fairly solid setup for an intrepidly-goofy movie.
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Eric Bana’s groin is a lethal weapon: “Hanna”

April 16, 2011

Okay, so first up on my cinematic adventures in Hong Kong is the recently-released Hanna. I was pretty stoked to see this one. I’d read some interesting reviews of it in the American press, but a Thai release date seemed a long way off. Here, I got to see an interesting, small-release film in a timely fashion. Score! Besides, 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy was sold out, and I really didn’t want to see The Lincoln Lawyer.
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He’s quiet enough…occasionally kills people: “The American”

September 13, 2010

Once more, I’m gonna warn you from the offset that this review is going to spoil The American. Like Moon, there’s really no other way talk about this film without giving away its ending. If you’ve come to this review looking for advice whether or not you should see the American, then here you go: yeah, you should see it. Just don’t go in expecting a thrill-ride or a George Clooney-led Bourne Identity knockoff. It’s slow and meditative and character-driven. It’s gorgeous to look at, too. Plus there’s a ton of chick nudity, which, you know,  always helps.
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Counterpoint: The Work Wife’s Review of “Wanted”

July 14, 2008

So, Kassandra the work wife took great exception to my review of Wanted. After her initial torrent of verbal abuse died down, I placated her by promising to upload her rebuttal to my review if she would write one. I suspected that this would end things once and for all, as Kass fears word-processors like a cat fears a full bathtub (something in her upbringing…I think as a child she was taught that they were the tools of the Devil). Alas, no. Either she conquered this fear or I’m thinking of some other chick I know, because she sent me the following:

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Better Living Through Sociopathic Violence: “Wanted”

July 10, 2008

Wanted is about Wesley Gibson (James McEvoy), a 20-something office drone, put-upon by his sadistic boss, emasculated by his cheating girlfriend, broke, until one day he learns that he has super powers and a destiny which requires them, and Wesley becomes Spider-Man!

 

Wait. That’s not right.

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