Posts Tagged ‘Alicia Silverstone’

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In the ’90s we were totally okay with statutory rape (we weren’t really okay with it): “The Crush”

September 2, 2013

crush

So, we’re back on the misogyny of the 1990s—well that was quick—but it’s hard to escape, what with the decade being so rife with it and all. 1993’s The Crush was no doubt sold to studio execs as “Fatal Attraction with a teenaged girl.” And they no doubt lapped it up like a…thing…that laps stuff (sorry, wrote myself into a corner, there). The final product, however, viewed some 20 years on is basically the story of a potential statutory rapist struggling with his urges. Well, the first half anyway. After that, it does actually become Fatal Attraction with a minor. But by that time I already felt like showering with acetone. Because if we were anything in ‘90s, we were terrified of women, no matter their age.
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It lacks bite (crud, no…) Pretty toothless (no, no, no…) Not too bat (Ah, screw it): “Vamps”

December 2, 2012

posterThis one is kind of a toughie, since Vamps is a pretty slight movie. I mean, it’s pleasant enough movie, inoffensive, and not terribly taxing. Kind of like a retarded beagle or something. Not quite so retarded that it, say, tries to lick the electrical outlet or anything, but instead just sits there, staring at you and wagging its tail. Problem is, that’s pretty much the only thing Rover is going to do. Whether you a throw a ball or those werewolf Nazis from An American Werewolf  in London bust in and begin machine-gunning everyone, its’ just going to sit there wagging its tail. In short, this dog is not Lassie. Wait, we’re still talking about a movie, right? Yeah, okay. Got a bit bogged down in the metaphor, there. Okay, so on to Vamps
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