Posts Tagged ‘airliners’


Still better than a Malaysian Airlines flight: “7500”

October 5, 2014


Think about air travel a moment. You’re herded like mentally-retarded cattle, practically get anal-probed by paroled felons in the name of “security,” all for the honor of waiting three hours for your hopelessly-delayed flight. When you do actually board the plane, you’ve got approximately the same personal space as a first-grader’s school desk, and as a fun feature, the seats recline so drastically that if the person in front of you wants to lean back, you end up with their head in your lap (and not in the good way—never in the good way). And this is how you spend several interminable hours—eating meals that seem to have polymer as a principle ingredient, watching edited movies on a tiny screen, and trying to ignore the dumbass sitting next to you who decided that a T-shirt with a borderline offensive saying and flip-flops are appropriate plane attire. And that’s provided that the hyper-sophisticated, eggshell-fragile machine you’re sitting in doesn’t plummet from the sky like a flaming cigar tube or simply disappear from all existence. And yet someone decided that this experience had to be made more harrowing, and so they made the haunted-jetliner film 7500. Never heard of it? That’s because it’s been sitting on a shelf for two years. Yeah, that’s a hopeful sign. Are you buckled in? Then let’s take off…uh, this review (well, shit, that didn’t work).
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