Archive for the ‘October Spooktacular’ Category

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From the Mists of Time: “Fire Birds”

September 14, 2015

fire-birds-movie-poster-1990-1020233014

Believe it or not, there was a time when we, the movie going public, did not yet realize that Nicolas Cage was nuts. Nope, it’s true. Hindsight being 20/20, the signs were there—I give you Zandalee—but 25 years ago, most of us were perfectly willing to accept Nic Cage as a hotshot gunship pilot. Well, movie studios were willing to believe that we were willing to accept Nicolas Cage as a hotshot gunship pilot. Look, it was a different time. The Internet hadn’t been invented yet–we had to take our entertainment where it came. 
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October Spooktacular closes: “The Birds”

October 31, 2012

To wrap up this year’s October Spooktacular, I decided to go with a sure thing: Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 classic, The Birds. It’s one of those films that’s so tightly ingrained in our culture that you feel like you’ve seen it, even if you never have. The big, showstopping scenes—Tippi Hedren being attacked by a flock of seagulls (not the band), the eerie final scene—are as well-known as anything in cinema. But the rest? Well, that’s a bit of a surprise, actually.
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Michael Caine builds a garage (and we all suffer for it): “The Hand”

October 27, 2012

What we have here is another installment in the subgenre of films I like to call “Michael Caine will appear in anything.” Because he pretty much will. His multiple Oscar wins and recent work with Christopher Nolan may have distracted the movie going public from this fact, but let’s us not forget this is a man who appeared in Blame It on Rio—a movie that makes Jaws: The Revenge look like a thoughtful and considered career decision. But, here’s the thing about Michael Caine: he’s working actor, and by that I mean he acts to make money. He famously explained his reasons for making Jaws: The Revenge, saying, “I haven’t seen it—by all accounts it’s terrible. But I have the seen the house it  built, and it is terrific.” So, what was his reason for making a killer amputated-hand movie in 1981? Supposedly, he needed a new garage. Man, I hope it was a nice garage.
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I paid seventeen bucks for this? “Silent Hill: Revelations 3D”

October 26, 2012

Sometimes you do something so amazingly, inexplicably boneheaded that afterwards you just have to say, “Whoa! I knew I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the dishwasher, but, holy shit, I’m much, much stupider than I ever imagined!” For me, that moment was when it hit me that I had just plunked down seventeen bucks to see Silent Hill: Revelation 3D. I came to this realization about a half hour into this movie when I thought that I’d pay to make the movie stop—only to realize I’d paid to see the damn thing. I’d like to say that I did this out of dedication to this blog, but c’mon! I could have watched something marginally better on Netflix streaming for free. Instead, I’m choosing to believe that I did it because I am deeply complex person. Yeah, that’s what I’m going with. Okay…so Silent Hill: Revelations…
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The house is a little murder-happy: “The Amityville Haunting”

October 24, 2012

Okay, let’s get this out of the way upfront: The Amityville Horror story is a crock. There’s really little doubt about this, as one of the dudes involved in the story admitted that they concocted the tale. That house still exists. It’s been bought and sold, and no one’s been eaten by flies or eaten by Burt Young or whatever-the-fuck else has supposedly happened there. Still, it’s the most famous haunted house we got, so naturally The Asylum would make a movie about it. Crap. And there’s no cheaper way to make a movie than with found-footage. Double crap. Okay, let’s all assume the position and get through this…
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Satan’s minion is named Wesley: “The Devil’s Tomb”

October 23, 2012

Devils-tomb-movieOkay, today’s entry  in our October Spooktacular is The Devil’s Tomb. I should warn you at the outset that the devil does not appear in this movie. There is, however a kind of a tomb. A figurative one. No, The Devil’s TombYeah,  is the latest in what you’d call the “People in enclosed spaces see totally impossible hallucinations, but buy into them completely and follow them to their doom.” I’m working on shortening it.

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Not the Stephen King one: “Dark Tower”

October 22, 2012

Yeah, just settle down there, big fella. This is not the much-spanked-over big-screen adaptation of Stephen King’s The Gunslinger novels, okay? Those may come down the pike someday, but until then you’ll just have to…um…engage in whatever fetishistic activity associated with those books (I haven’t read them, so I have no idea what that might be). No, this is a totally-unrelated film called The Dark Tower, and it’s about a haunted skyscraper in Barcelona—which is not what The Gunslinger novels are about (I don’t think). But, hey, we got Michael Moriarty before he became Ben Stone, went nuts, and expatriated himself, and that’s always cool. Plus we have young(ish) Jenny Agutter, and that’s not a bad thing, either. So you ready for this puppy? Okay, let’s go.
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