Posts Tagged ‘thrillers’


Son of a gun, gonna have big fun down at the bayou: “No Mercy”

October 27, 2015

Original Cinema Quad Poster - Movie Film Posters

I think in the 1980s there was some kind of an epidemic of partners being murdered. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure the only reason any homicides were solved at all in the ‘80s was because a cop’s partner was the victim. Like, 90% of the police work being done was in service of avenging a partner. Fortunately, avenging one’s partner allows for some pretty wide latitude (stealing from undercover FBI agents, invading Japan, etc.) In this, 1986’s No Mercy is a pretty straightforward example of the genre, notable only for its leads and the respective trajectories of their careers.
Read the rest of this entry ?


Maybe he should have ridden into that sunset a little earlier: “McQ”

October 14, 2015


So, here’s an obscure little artifact: a gritty ‘70s urban thriller called McQ starring John Wayne. Never heard of it? Well, don’t fret. You don’t exactly having a gaping chasm in your cinematic knowledge base. I mean, there’s a reason why when you think of John Wayne’s iconic roles, the irascible Seattle PD Lieutenant Lon McQ doesn’t exactly leap to mind. A big part of that is because this movie sunk without a trace from the cultural landscape. And a big part of that is because when I say “irascible” what I mean is “seemingly irritated to be there.”
Read the rest of this entry ?


From the Mists of Time: “Fire Birds”

September 14, 2015


Believe it or not, there was a time when we, the movie going public, did not yet realize that Nicolas Cage was nuts. Nope, it’s true. Hindsight being 20/20, the signs were there—I give you Zandalee—but 25 years ago, most of us were perfectly willing to accept Nic Cage as a hotshot gunship pilot. Well, movie studios were willing to believe that we were willing to accept Nicolas Cage as a hotshot gunship pilot. Look, it was a different time. The Internet hadn’t been invented yet–we had to take our entertainment where it came. 
Read the rest of this entry ?


Total system failure: “Terminator: Genisys”

June 28, 2015

[NOTE: This reviews contains some spoilers, though nothing that wasn’t given away in the trailers for the film. Still, if you’re totally unspoiled about Terminator: Genisys you may want to avoid this review.]

Few things are worse today than the were in the early ‘90s: music, fashion, technology are all much, much better than in, say, 1991. If you don’t believe me, just take a wander down memory lane that is the Internet and behold that INXS-rocking, tortoiseshell glasses-wearing, Discman-listening-to moment in history and you’ll likely feel the same immense relief at being alive in this point in time as when you read an article about, say, medieval medical practices. But there is one thing the early ‘90s had over today, at least 24 years ago we could get a decent Terminator movie, as opposed to the one Hollywood just coughed up. Yep, I’ll just say it: Terminator: Genisys is even dumber than it’s title.

Read the rest of this entry ?


Portrait of the vampire as a young impaler: “Dracula Untold”

October 19, 2014


Dracula Untold. Wow. Just wow. I didn’t think they gave movies this mind-breakingly stupid a theatrical release. I mean, this should be embarrassedly shuffled into Redbox and VOD, while the creative team behind it change their names and go into porn to save their careers. I really didn’t think I was going to see a major studio release that made me long for the clarity and storytelling sophistication of I, Frankenstein, but there that movie is. It’s just bad. So, so bad.
Read the rest of this entry ?


Were they out of Mr. Potato Heads? “Annabelle”

October 4, 2014


James Wan’s supernatural horror films—Insidious, Insidious Chapter 2,  and The Conjuringare basically the cinematic equivalent of popcorn: reasonably enjoyable as distraction food, but mostly air and empty calories. Not, in other words, very substantive. Annabelle, the latest installment in the Wan franchise isn’t even directed by Wan, but instead by his cinematographer John R. Leonetti. So whatever imprimatur Wan brings to his work is now run the Xerox machine, giving us a faded copy of a not-terribly bold-faced original. Basically, this is a film so rickety that it only works if you believe two normal, sane, stable adults to would by their newborn a baby a doll that looks as it was crafted by Satan himself.
Read the rest of this entry ?


Nicolas Cage vs. the Russian Mafia (and Bankruptcy): “Rage”

September 30, 2014


Well, look who it is! Ha, didn’t we know that it was only a matter of time before ol’ Nicky Cage made another appearance on this blog. Kind of missed him, didn’t we? Well, here he is and he is knee deep in mystery, violence, and the deep, deep south. Because when you think Mobile, Alabama, you think Nic Cage…with his hair dyed so black it absorbs light and crushes it into a singularity or something. You also think Russian mafia, because we all know that Alabama is the Little Odessa of the South.  Got a sense of what we’re dealing with now? Because that’s what we’re dealing with in the latest Cage vehicle Rage. Okay, let’s dive right in.
Read the rest of this entry ?


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 420 other followers